Introduction:

When your baby is first diagnosed as having a hearing loss, it may seem as though the world has come apart. Parenting is supposed to come naturally, isn't it? Now it seems as though you are waiting on medical professionals for every decision and intervention. DON'T. Take charge of your parenting and make a connection with your baby before you do anything else! I am here to tell you, as a Teacher of the Deaf, that you have all the skills necessary to bond with your baby. Here are 3 Steps to get you connected fast:

Step 1: Soothe

All babies cry for a variety of reasons. We know they can be soothed by soft touches, sweet smells, and a calming environment. Your baby is the same! Take advantage of opportunities to do skin-to-skin holding and use baby-wearing to your advantage. Your baby will benefit from the close proximity to your face and the ability to feel your heartbeat and breathing rhythm. Put some lavender oil in a bath or a diffuser to calm your fussy, over-tired little one. Then, put them to sleep in a room with soft colors and textures that create a cozy environment.

But- what about music?! Sure, music can still have a place in your life. You can put on lullabies and special songs, just think of them differently. They are for YOU. Music will help you slow down, feel positive, and create the calming vibe your baby needs. Hold your baby and rock them as you listen to that lullaby. Hum along and let them be soothed by the vibrations in your chest and throat. Make music an opportunity for cuddling and stop focusing on your baby's ears for a while.

Step 2: Stimulate

Your baby needs to have lots of input in their earliest days. You may feel sad, anxious, or scared, but you can still take an active role in their development while you struggle with your own feelings. From the very beginning, your baby was programmed to react to touch, smell, and visuals -regardless of their hearing potential. Take advantage of this! Come in close and make funny faces while you change their diaper. Smile and clap when sharing happy moments. Foster a love of touch by using sweet-smelling lotions and creating a massage routine with both Mom and Dad. Pick toys that are bright and make playful movements. Play with water! The sensory benefits of water play are universal. Make sure to make eye contact when you are together and redirect their attention with soft touches. Remember, out of sight is truly out of mind- so involve them in your life by keeping in sight of your baby.

Step 3: Communicate

The million-dollar question is looming- to sign or not to sign?? Forget what doctors, specialists, and your community may have to say for a moment, and think of the big picture. Your child with hearing loss needs access to language! What does your baby have to lose by learning two languages? NOTHING AT ALL. Not so long ago, in America, specialists convinced our grandparents that speaking a language other than English at home would ruin their kids' ability to learn English...wrong! Now, we invest as a country in the idea of preserving and fostering bilingualism.

Learning to use a visual language does not stop your child from learning to "hear" or "speak." You can still research hearing aids, cochlear implants, speech therapy, and all other supports while ALSO using a signed language at home. If your goal is language acquisition and bonding, why should you hold back from exposing them to all the modes of communication you can? American Sign Language is a true language. If Harvard is offering ASL courses for language credit, shouldn't you be taking advantage of it as well? Yes! And the good news is that exposing your baby to ASL, and learning it yourself, is much easier these days.

Have 15 minutes?

Your local library has Signing Time videos that are filled with music and vocabulary. You can sit with your baby for just 15 minutes a day and slowly learn vocabulary together. Screen time for the win! Pick up some ASL board books and cozy up on the couch. Copy the sign and point to the picture while you read the book. Download a signing app. and practice on the subway or while you wait for the bus. You can do it!

Have 1 hour?

Watch an ASL storytime video online together, and then practice signing it yourself. Check if your library offers a Signing Story Time or sign up for an online Songs and Signs class with your toddler. Ready for more? Contact your local school for the Deaf and ask about parent classes. These will help you learn grammar and extend your ability to talk about conceptual topics with your child. They will also provide a window into the Deaf community and culture (a resource that is there for you no matter what happens in your child's hearing journey). There are also free ASL classes offered online to parents. Programs that normally offer classes to hearing students may offer you a discount on a family class.

No Matter What, Get Support:

Unfortunately, the medical professionals that are in your life right now are not there to support you in emotional ways. It can be an alienating feeling to be on a different parenting journey than your friends. Take heart- you are not alone. There are many resources and local groups ready to support you and your baby. You can join online discussion forums, meet with other parents of children with hearing loss, and connect with Deaf mentors. You can also go to any other activity you want! Join a Mommy and Me yoga class, swim class, gymnastics class, art class... and focus on connecting with each other. Show, instead of telling, and pay no attention to the worries of others. You know how to connect with your child! Focus on your whole baby, and not just their ears, and everything will start falling into place.

If you want more support, guidance, and community- I can help. My sign language classes are safe spaces for your entire family to learn ASL and to connect with other families with similar experiences and struggles. Click this link to learn more about my course options:

Stellar ASL Online